Academic Wish-List: Path i want to tread

i've wasted a lot of time in relation to my quest. wasted 4 years as such in a degree that is hardly of any worldly utility and nor for my stammering, scholarly ambitions. having failed to fulfill the janoon to become a fighter pilot, i'm lost!!! thoughtlessly going into a job field seems a cowardly act. i've one more chance to re-boot and pursue a dedicated, no matter how inter-disciplinary field that fits my grand non-monetary, unworldly, intellectual quests.

My quest is ultimately search for Absolute at personal and academic level. For that i've to master many disciplines including logic, grammar, philosophy, metaphysics, irfan, methods of analysis & description, mathematical thinking at deep levels, jurisprudence, legal theories, and above all knowledge and understanding of the Revelation. These are the fields our Muslim forefathers would have mastered at 17 or 18 as in case of many. I know none!