Most Informal Post: Positive feedback needed

hey i'm feeling abysmally dull... i need critical feedback on my writing and intellectual abilities. positive feedback is very important that's not flattering. negative feedback is only much more needed for improvement. but it's positive feedback i need more for some encouragement... :P

feeling very, very low, i will be honest with you. having done a worthless bsc mindlessely, i now want a "real" rigorous one that makes me good at 'something'. i don't care about dollars, as you don't too i hope. job is just a mean, and not an end. Allah doesn't leave his abd hungry to die out there, as there's nothing out there out of His reach. but it's intellectual abilities i yearn most for. it's making contribution to human ideas and projects at academic and societal-action level i care about... and it's exactly in this domain i'm despondent about my own very self... can't even focus at critical academic task at hand. i'm learning german to take advantage of free education system of Germany with its strong social and physical sciences. but first: what do i possess to take on a challenge????????????????????????????????????

never been that informal on any blog................... and am gonna regret this when i wake up :D