How many times would I change the most outward part of my self by imitating this and that person, whoever appeals to my mind? Countless times have I done this. I'm guilty of it! And instead of creating and strengthening a 'character' that would shake the ocean of falsehood, I have chosen the most superficial path of mere outward imitation of others. I am losing faith in Idea.
Thus. I find myself failing in my commitments; falling into the Satanic lap of luxury that dull the fire of Islamic faqr in me. The result is that I can't create a movement, I can't manage a movement, let alone leading it from heart. I don't seem to have life in me, or even its soul that could instigate me to act for the service of humankind, only for the sake of God.
Here I have the right to ask: Where do I find such energy? Where do I find a cure to these serious spiritual ills?
In the purification of self!
In the attainment of religious knowledge, of Quran primarily!
They say that there are three steps to the realization of purpose of our life: To know God; to love Him; and to serve Him.
How can a heart know Him if it is a house of Satan? And how can an intellect actually know Him fully if it has not the light of the Last and the Final Revelation? Both activities complement each other. They just can't be divorced from each other, while excluding other complex factors.
That's today's reflection, a solution I've arrived after much struggle and perplexity. May Allah forgive me and show me true light. (Ameen)
"pain is a noun, acts like a verb"
6 months ago
4 did criticisms:
"tu bacha bacha ke na rakh isse, tera aaina hai voh aaina
keh shikasta ho tou azeez-tar hai nigah-e aaina-saaz mein"
-Iqbal
you probably are going through the phase in which mirrors really do break! May Allah SWT make things easy for you. Aameen.
You're brave to enough to dare to confront your real foe. It's really hard to find an enemy within.
You are on the way if you can recognize and acknowledge your weakness like you have done here. Those who know God also know themselves first, without relying too much on "apparent role models".
You're treading the right path - which, as Socrates had put, is to know that we don't know enough; to have knowledge of our own incompetencies and the need to improve them.
May Allah Almighty give you the courage to continue on the path (:
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