'Self-analysis' or self-examination that is directed towards creating harmony in our character and soul - to my mind - is like completing a traditional mosaic.
Today I was lamenting in front of my father about the oppressions of American establishment (by that I specifically mean the political elite, and not the academic elite or its general people) on foreign cultures that lie outside the narrows boundaries of their nationalism, obviously its East, especially the Islamic part of it that has the genius of providing humanity the best solution to all of its perennial problems through its 'profound realism and ideals'. The moment I stopped, he gave me a fresh example from his one recent experience where so many corrupt people were deploring their bad leaders, and when they were asked about their wrong-doings - they just make you thunderstruck with their devilish, nonsensical answers, devoid of any morality, showing how subservient we've become to the Satan and our own desires (or lusts) as a nation. Therefore, he demanded that I should, unlike the followers of Satan, be self-critical towards myself so as to recognize and correct my own flaws. Thus a little self-analysis. There is so much to be written on this mere topic, and as a matter of fact this act of self-examination should naturally go on till life runs and burns. A never-ending process, not to be mentioned...
In this post I'd, however, seek to correct my relationships with the people serving me at home. Prophet of Islam, the First and the Last religion, once said that you cannot win people's heart with money, but with good manners. I at this point lack the latter, and anyone lacking the latter lacks everything. The reason is that I do not have control over myself. I can see the best way for me, only I cannot regulate myself, only I fail to direct my energies on doing the best, that is, following the Sunnah of Prophet (his way of life), may peace be upon him. After an advice session from outside, I have figured out that I can do good to my servants and win their hearts by strictly following some codes. But at first, what I need to do is to clean my thinking of materialistic thinking that puts God and His creation below ones own desires and lusts, thanks to the prevalent practice of Western materialistic conception of life, I inherited being a part of this environment. Although I'd like to confess that I deliberately, consciously chose to follow this anti-human path. I don't blame my environment, I just reject it from top to bottom, left to right (if it has left anything that is 'right').
So. What to do? Following are some codes I with some external help have chalked out to bring about a change in me, please feel free to add your valuable comments:
* Correct the timing of my sleep - to make it balanced, and to form and follow a routine.
* No late night going out, except if a need arises (we do have a definite sense of it!) And, I'll have to regulate the timings of going-out - plan it.
* Inform these people of any irregularities. For example, if visitors or relatives are to visit, the guys at home should be informed so that they get plenty of time to prepare for the services.
* Keep them aware of my schedule if I am outside home, so that they know and can manage things on time.
* Meal routine: fix it. Now, this depends on some variables, and on a fixed principle, that is, I cannot eat if I do not feel an inclination towards eating. This can disturb the 'routine', so what I can do is eat less, for instance, at night (if I have ate late at night) in this way I'll feel hungry in the morning. Things may well adjust, God willing.
* Today I was thinking of how to increase my knowledge in the best manner. I recalled the following hadith of the Prophet (may peace be upon him): "He who makes his conduct accord with his knowledge receives from God more knowledge." The floor of my room and bathing room is filled with dust, if I make it clean and attain purity I have a better chance of increasing my knowledge than by studying books.
That's all for now. i guess I should write these points on the window as well for reminding my slippery memory of it, and start executing them. May Allah make my path easier and protect me from all jinn and shaitan. (Ameen!)